Search This Blog

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Black angel

Your wings, so beautifully dark
Raven black, fill the sky of my dreams
You fly somewhere in heart
Aching for morbid love
I cry out to only you
Hopeless existence
Pointless earthly loves, I desire one thing only
Both dark and spiritual 
The sensuous kiss of another forgotten soul
The taste of blood on my tounge.

Monday, October 25, 2010


Here is a blog I started and abandoned when I was 12 or 13-ish

Lovenote to readers

Hey blog readers: Looking back I've posted a lot of poetry in such a short time. I am quite proud of myself, this is only the tip of the iceberg! Already there are wonderful people from many different cultures and nations reading this. I hope to get some comments, some regular readers, maybe even a few more followers.
But most of all what I want is for you to feel. I want to change lives with my work. One day I hope to publish poetry professionally. 
Thoughts of people loving and appreciating my poetry is what keeps me going!
Your comments are appreciated.
It would be cool if you guys could comment me suggestions for future poems.



They've told me a thousand times
I know what I am
I see in reflected through my own eyes
Rot inside, borne of filth
Why life, why suffering?
Why fighting, striving harder and harder as it all falls away
Whispers and mockery
Fill my insides, personal poison, simply remembering.

My life, best described

Life takes you and throws you from the very top to the bottom
Break your bones, break your soul
Pick up the pieces, start anew
Into a meaningless venture of nothingness
Where does the void end
In a realm without time
Does eternity exist?
I see nothing in any direction
All is the same
Leading me to nowhere
So fast, crashing down this boulevard in despair
Where is my handsome prince, my castle?
Happily ever after?
I have fought so long, this is the end 
Of everything and anything that matters to me.

Human angel

She was a petal beauty
A human angel
So white was her hair, shimmering lustrous blonde
How pure was her marble skin
Not even Botticelli, could painted such a creature
A girl creature
A sad-hearted girl
For absence of wings
Fly away, black hearted angel
Into the pit of hell
Longing for her wings so achingly, so desperately
She would do anything to know her true self.

New moon

Awaken me mother earth, speak
My ears are listening, in a language beyond language
A dream that is not what it seems
When you awake from deep sleep
I see your dream-filled eyes
How pretty you are in oblivion
If you only you knew, what a dream you are to me
You would not hate yourself the way you do
Not look down, blushing in shame
I love you so much
I feel your pain, your tears
Keep your dreams with you
In the unending daylight
A burning that never dies
Reminding you of your flawed condition
Live your dreams
Eternal night
From the earth to the sky.

Coffin for dreams

Here lies your sweet childhood
In a bed of eternal death, lies
In unhearing ears.

Starlight God

He is starlight within
An eternal bright sky is his smile
The light of my life.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


She left me here alone
How will I go on without
The soft promise of love.

Lost within

I walk the spirit land
Where dreams and reality collide
One is the other
The other is one
All is possible, in my own personal dreamworld
A forest where only the bravest wolves walk
I am all the things I could possibly imagine
This world that follows me, haunts me
The product of a dreaming soul
Under a river
They imprisoned her
She could do nothing but wait and stare
At all who passed
Green eyes that looked from a depth 
Of the prison that held her
Glittering eyes that begged to be set free
A million words spoken from thee
In silence...
The perfect pastel shimmer that trapped her
Blue in blue
One with the water
Translucent time
Water faery at her own demise
Becoming the rippling flow that holds her
For one thousand years
She waits for me
To set her free
Waiting maiden
I created her.

Running with the Wolves

I feel myself change
Pink skin morph to satin fur
Under loving moonlight
I feel the Goddess song
Starlight burns glorious on my new body
In a land beyond rage, beyond emotion
The new earth beneath my paws
My silver coat shields me from the rain, the powerful elements
And the rain- it pelts the ground so hard now
The music is so overpowering, the simple music of rain
I see all through the eyes of a wolf
I am no longer the shadow of one
Not a sad soul crying, tears like this fresh, wet rain
Upon a new earth
I bay at the moon
Other howls follow
The pack is coming
Goodbye humanity
Hello family, hello home.

Otherkin soul

A shy timid girl
A sad depressed human, with a secret
Lupine soul, staring through her golden eyes
Hidden by a mask, her human face
Fair skin, fine boned
Hating herself
So far from her soul
Her bodies defies
What she is inside
But who could realize
The wild thing, shining within
Infinitely more real
More true
That what you see here
Take me to the spirit world, the astral plane
Where I can be what I am
In an enchanted forest that is my home
Wolf songs light the silver moon night
Cannot resist it
Running wild tonight.

Girl in the mirror

Who is that girl in the mirror?
 Staring back at me.
 I see her wide, lonely eyes.
 I see her mousy brown hair.
 I see layers of make-up
 I see every flaw, and her desperate brown eyes.
 Crying for help.
 She begging, pleading, screaming silently in her soul.
 I know how that girl in the mirror feels.
 The pain she’s been in is real.
 She hasn’t eating in days.
She is starving herself.
 Striving to be set free.
 She wants to look like herself.
 And no one less.
 But she needs to fit in with everyone else.
 Her identity is lost.
 Her spirit too.
 For all she ever needed was a friend.
 Just a shoulder to cry on. A smile true.
 That’s all she would need to heal her heart.
 To set her spirit anew.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A little something to live by...

   Dance like no one is watching
   Sing like no one is listening
   Love like you've never been hurt
   And live like heaven on earth.

Seriously people think hard on this one. These are words to live by.
Thought I'd share. <3

Dark of the moon

The dark of moon holds such mystery
A new beginning, a new day
A night sweeter than both
The wrongs of your past leave you
Just for tonight
Embrace the Dark Mother's promise
Her word on your soul
In your beating heart
For she is the drummer
Can you hear her moan?
Shed a tear, for your earthly suffering
In the cemetery- dead blood
In the earth, her home
Corpses lay, eternally in her hands
You cannot escape her
Fear as you do, darkness
Poetry in my words
She listens
To silently screaming souls
The darklings, the misfits
Goddess of the dark moon
Is that your hounds, baying in the distance?
Oh, the sound is so enlivening
Praise the blessings she gives forth
Dance away your cares
Sing to the velvety black skies
Live fearless of death.

Black star

From heaven she shone
A loner, a dark thing
A black star, in a white universe
Which fears the night
Yet I hear her calls
Frantic, impassioned
Calling me to her
The blood of my womb, she smells
A fine offering...
Blood-drinking Goddess
Who is my wine
Behold the chalice
Inscribed is the name
Hekate who is all three.

Surrender, my love

The seas did churn, with your words
The sea of my heart
You who were my moon
Controlled my tides
Bled like stars
Far above me
Where am I now?
Without your pulsing radiance
Silver moon-light kisses
That never leave me, no
Become me
Become my earth and sky
Ocean and air I breathe

Monday, October 4, 2010

Starry Eyes

His tears are shooting stars
I can see a history, so brutal laid before me
The bones that he hides
Under his bruised skin
Outline of a skull, crying
Your tears taste of years of searching
Of yearning
Man that is not man
Wolf inside, why do you hide from me?
I know you too well.


The faeries they dance, in between the folds of time
I belong to them
My heart is their heart
Morgan le Fey, her music fills the Land of all Seasons
Here where all is one
I dance in Faeryland.

Wishing for night

The Goddess opens her arms
Civilization sleeps, dreams awaken
I find Her here
In my budding woman's body
Her promise illuminates me, my star and moon
Artemis is the forest, I long to belong
Wilderness and lost humanity in the jaws of time
Her silver bow sails through sweet midnight velvet
She runs with the wolves
Baying at the moon
I love them, and cannot join them
My true love
Not here, no so far
From here.

You are all

Jonnathan, you are beautiful
Child-like innocence
Winter skin, indistinguishable from mine
Eyes like Nova Scotian waters
Can I hear mermaid's song if I listen long, hard enough?
Ever-churning hightide
Raven hair, glossy and thick
Curly and cute
You dance in the distance
You are my best friend
My family, my whole world.

Hold me

Hold me so softly
Stroke me so sweetly
Dream-lover, if I could be of your world
Where I am both loved and lover
Sweet fantasies to haunt closing eyes
I am your slave
If I could create you, I would
Dream you into existence
Your long golden hair is like sunshine on my pale skin
You laughed and called it "winter skin"
Are you the embodiment of my laughter, my sun?
Lucian where are you?

Not a Tear

I walked alone today
Turned the metal off for a while...
Just walked for a while
To listen to the silence I so fear
Crunch of gravel under my feet
I started to wonder
Who would cry, when it's my time to go?
Will there be lose that mourn me?
Sorrow and grief?
Somewhere I know deep inside
Each of us wonder the same thing
Here's how I picture my funeral
A soundless, barren progression
So few stare with blank eyes
At someone who there but they never knew
Deceased, can you see through my painted face?
Organs that do not function
Heart that does not beat
The blessing that welcomed me from pain
You don't know half of what I am
& never will
Will you shed a tear or two?
On my deathbed when it's empty of feeling?
Nobody in life to care.

The best years of your life

Breasts sore, skin itching
Hormonal acne and cliques
Peer pressure and academic struggles that bring you nowhere
Labeled by clothes you wear, the money your parents make
Security in conformity
Hear my voice in defiance
I don't need your trends, your style, your lies
Skinny and popular are the main goals
Healthy and intellectual goals, anyone?
Friendless, thoughtless can't survive
13 years to waste my life
Trying to care
Hold onto whats there
Nothing left, slipping through
The insults they slung at you
Fucking idiot, senseless whore
Useless slut, fat bitch
Ugly and pretty
Bleeding mystery in my panties
Am I dying?
I'd rather bleed to death than be here
Claustrophobia, the walls close in on you
The stale air that you breathe each day begins to suffocate
Teachers are pricks
These people that slam your uselessness in your face
Lonely inside
Outside does not reflect inside... not one bit
Rejected again, by boys
By those I called friends
No way to hide
I consider death with each new failure
If these are best days of your life...

Grey and black

Grey and black
The sky above
Colourless dawn
That forgotten man cries in the distant fog
I cannot see, so smothered by sound
It doesn't make sense
No reason, no right
Blinded by sound
Deafened by sight
Is there peace in the void?
I feel as though I live in one, night and day
There is no peace in my life
A long existence with many lives lived
I see my spirit is not mine
It is broken a thousand times over
Drowning in the evening that awakens night.

Leave me to the fire

I dance away the stars above
The earth that is beneath, yet no longer mine
Can I hear him sigh?
A world away
Acts that separate us, destroying our love for one another
I say goodbye, manically 
A touch of sorrow to embitter the madness
I am cursed by who I am
I lie to God, by simply living as I am
Accursed and white
A prophecy to fill, uttered by my father
The rebel child reborn
Into a colourless land
Taint my thoughts, kill me inside
This is what I am and I cannot hide
Can velvet cloak fear?
Music reflect the soul?
A golden-haired lover, when we were but children
I remember talking for hours
Blood is given and taken away
This world is not my own any longer
Dark creatures that still feel
Crazed sabbat to end it all
Dance into the eternal flame
Destroying all love and hate.

Silent Killer

Here I am
Sister, brother
I am yours no longer
Mother, father
You who bore me
Say goodbye
As I say hello to death
Here I am far from you
From your crying eyes
Your breaking hearts
Family no longer
Nothing means more than my hatred for life
The pain in my life
That seems to eat at the insides
All I see is the destroyed
Goodbye liars
Goodbye dreams
Suicide is the last answer
I've tried it all
I see my failures as tattoos on my skin
Cursed to see beyond the illusion
See the darker picture
The image that is within all.

Death I Give

Giver of death
Taker of souls
An offer too sweet to refuse
From the soul I bled
My heart did too
Useless obsessions
Passionless life
I wait only for you
Will you come home to me?
The reaper that is the angel
Lie that is truth
He left me alone
Left me here to die
Without a second thought
Lover come back
See me as I lay
Day after day
See my rise to rot
Back from the dead.

Fractured Youth

I hear her lullaby
Lost in the wind
The willows that sing, and take me in her hands
Mother now forgotten
Songs leave my lips
Fragile times in which we live
She sang my name in my dreams
Sad intoxicating kisses
Belonging only to her
How could she not share?
Not know how this hole that is my heart bleeds
Eternal prisoner
All for you my love, all for you
My fractured youth sings a sad song
Of forcing yourself to the pain
Singing in silence

Friday, October 1, 2010

Temporary Hope

 I feel the wisp of something
Foreign and forgotten
I haven't had a hope or prayer
In so long, in this miserable life of despair
So strong I did fight
until this awful night
I slipped back once again
Playing a game-
Do you remember when....?
Deadly games I played
Falling back in the same patterns I'd forsaken so long ago
I felt sunshine yesterday 
Felt love for myself
I wish I could feel that everyday.