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Friday, September 2, 2011

September's Song

I never heard it
Even when she walked through my door
Leaves around me began to crumble
Fall like rain, like things that are dying slowly
Wither like my hopes and dreams
I closed my eyes in summer
Awakened to this
The nightmare cold I feel biting through the deceptive sunshine
The colours they are vibrant, but the edges decay
Through my kiss I soothe those little flowers, delicate and beautiful
Who die in a meadow near here
The river begins to bite, gone are the blessings of sun's warmth
Who sang a farewell in another life
All that's left are the notes
The echoes fills the wind, my restless heart will never be healed
Until my lover light comes back to me.

Rebirth

What I thought I was
It seems was not me
But a reflection of the illusion surrounding
So I could never see
Within my deep, dark heart
I always knew
Yet I believed the lies
Thrown in my face
Lies to cover what I am, who I am
If I had only known
Lover and monster
Woman and child
Humanity released tight hands around me
This is more real than anything I ever knew
My body is changing
My soul is rearranging, now that I know
The reflection staring back is the vessel
And the soul is infinite 
From the dawn of time I have wandered
Separated from my sisters
In agony
In torment
Wandering... alone
If I close my eyes I find them in blackness
Never remembering her screams
Her chains around my ankles, wrist and neck
This isn't love, its sacrifice with no gain
This is my rebirth
Slashing claws
Shining scales
Lethal fangs
Hunger for all that is intellectually stimulating.
Bloody and barely breathing.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Shame

I hide in this guise that is not me
Consumed in shame
I will never be free, from the thing that is me
The horror I feel from the reflection
It isn't my soul, my Self
Yet it is horrible
More sick than a prison for decaying bodies
This body is a prison for a decaying soul
If I close my eyes I'll never awaken
I hear the words that have been spoken
But this spirit within his already broken
A winged thing, a great one once
Fallen, from my own hatred of self
Cannot contemplate another day
Surviving this way
Unloved, untouched
I will cry hollow tears tonight
Until mother's pills set me free
Into spirit that is pure.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Sleep tight, lost lover

He is a disease of the mind
My alternative self
He is a king in the netherworld
Everything that is not mine
Reach out your arms and never hold me
All the lies you have told me
Your burial, coffin is ready
Hurry my lover
Black roses are fading
The snow is falling upon the frozen ground
Frozen like my heart, like everything that we were
Accursed am I, perhaps for all time
Will I ever be free from this hell?
The body is a cage for the soul
My soul cries for the blood the earth soaked up
The earth ate your life force, and then you did gasp for breath
Before your eyelids fluttered one last time
You are not immortal to me
You are dead in my heart
My dark, frozen heart
Like the tundra up North
It wanders the frozen wasteland like a wolf
I hunt for you.


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Secret Silence

In the darkness she waits
Her secrets shroud in silence
You who know all reveal nothing
The one with answers is dead in the silence
She took them with her to the grave
Silent as a rock
You who are my ancestor, in the ground
One who I never met yet love, so dearly
I see myself in the pictures of you, your face so kind
Your spirit is so good
You are my angel, my blessing.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Let us meet in a dream

I do not know you my love
In the future perhaps, but that future is distant
Yet I love you with all my heart
My everlasting soul
In death I hope I find you
In life I hope I meet you
If God part us, we will make a new castle in the sky
The evil will be there but it will be our own
I will pray for you, I will never truly sleep until you are beside me
Until we meet again.
You twist my mind, play your games
You play with my fears, my hope, loves, dreams
You play every card but the one I hold
I hold it in a sweating palm
I am shaking my nerves are unbearable
Like this life that compresses my soul
Deflates my will
For I am shaped by the will of many
Who look at my bare soul and giggle.